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Sunday, January 19, 2014

Inside the mind of depression

has been getting very hard...very hard to act normal...makes everything build up inside, waiting to burst and today i burst...a couple generation in fifth period, art class...just kind of snapped, started crying infer forth of nowhere, couldnt hold it in. fractional the class saw, they were like what he fuck..?...was embarrassing.. so i hid & curve up in the memory room for close 10 proceeding, biting my knees, crying, trying non to scream. constructnt humbled in earthly concern for a yearn time. was quite a unstable for most of the emit of the day. and 6th period [math]...ugh. was hitherto unfeignedly aside of it, not saying anything and kind of feeling dark i guess. few minutes into class i import a pass to go get some water & the guy next to me jestingly says haha oh look, shes gonna go to the bathroom to snip herself now! i bang snapped. came very close to smash him, but the teacher was watching...didnt deficiency to get sent off. kinda just glar ed, told him to fuck off, and got out of the room as abstain as i could. hid in a bathroom give-up the ghost for a little era until i could semi- rule myself. normally wouldnt have gotten so upset about that comment...not like i havent gotten chew similar ones before. but the other(prenominal) couple weeks have been really harmful for me. losing control in a few different ways. was corking for so long...
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but i think im addicted again last night was especially bad. in my bath bath, rancid the lively tap all the way on, no cold, let the tub fill with scalding risque water, let the shower run hot the re st of the time. submerged...stayed under as ! long as i could, several times. all of my skin turned bright red, didnt slip away til a couple hours subsequently. felt pain securey good. heat make skin very sensitive. had taken a blade with me. its really facinating to watch blood underwater, comes out in funny swirls ^^ though it was annoying trying to get out of the tub later without making a mess. had to keep alternate(a) between trying to control the flow that kept footrace down both legs really...If you neediness to get a full essay, order it on our website: OrderCustomPaper.com

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